Journal Entries
Journal Entry #1
September-
When I was choosing a topic, I wanted to make sure it was fun and something that others would want to participate in. I wanted to make it educational and fun at the same time so I incorporated coping activities in my project. I also wanted to include a podcast to further the education aspect. So on September 8th, I talked to Mrs. Zamorski to help me with the scripting and she’s ready when I am. I listed some topics to start off with that are in my notes. I had to choose a class and an age group for where I would do this project, so on September 14th I emailed Mrs. Svoboda to work with her freshman advisory class. I talked to Nathaniel Warren and he helped me find a podcast platform which I choose to do on Spotify. September 16th, I emailed Mr. Greene to work with his advisory and first block class. I also emailed Mrs. Rubelmann to be my mentor and emailed Mrs. Carlson to meet with me and review my material. The next day I met with Mr. Greene and he’s excited to work with me. I decided to switch my focus to sophomores and juniors since those are the classes Mr. Greene will have during that time. I got approval for Mrs. Rubelmann to be my mentor and have a meeting with her on Monday. I also am setting up a meeting with Mrs. Carlson to help advise my slideshow which I’m currently working on. The toughest part so far has been finding out what classes I want to present to where I can have time for my field work. On September 20, 2021, I met with Mrs. Rubelmann and received all English 2 classes to help choose when I will be presenting my project. I meet with Mrs. Carlson tomorrow morning to get feedback on my presentation as well. I am extremely nervous about the podcast aspect and have high hopes that this podcast will turn out well and I’ll have active participants and active listeners.
journal entry #2
October
This past month has been very fast paced. I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress with this capstone. I finished my presentation on coping mechanisms and presented it to my senior classmates. Today on October 8th, I presented to Mr. Greene’s advisory and first block classes. It went pretty well, the students paid attention and followed along. It made me a bit nervous that both classes were mainly boys given the fact that compared to females, they don’t talk about their stress as often. But they engaged and listened, and I think that I preferred it that way at the end. I feel like boys and men at the end of the day need to learn healthy ways to express and release their emotions. Last weekend, I met with my cousin for brunch because she has her own podcast and she helped me set up my podcast account which I named Coming Back to Yourself. I’m waiting for my microphone to come in so I can record my first video. Two days ago, I got interviewed on Tiger Talk by Sophia Benamre to promote my podcast. I’ve been very nervous about pursuing this project. I’m stuck wondering if this is something that kids will want to participate in given it’s not an easy topic. I’m trying to be more patient and take it one step at a time but it’s not always easy. I’m working on my daily routine one step at a time as well. I tried to write down a script for my podcast but I don't think that way will work for me. I feel like it has to be more authentic where I can take notes about the main points I’d like to talk about. Then, I would carry out the conversation based on those points. My to-do list at the moment is to figure out if I will be presenting in all Mr. Greene’s classes or choose between sophomore and junior English classes. I will have to email Mrs. Rubelmann to schedule another meeting so she can help me find the class schedule information and figure out how I will draw kids during advisory to practice different strategies. Honestly, I feel like I’m starting to get a bit overwhelmed. I need to make better progress in my Math and Psychology classes. I want to do more but there’s a ton of pressure this year with school, work, and getting a driver’s license for easier transportation. As well as other daily responsibilities. I know I will persevere through this though and I’m willing to ride this project out throughout the school year.
Journal entry #3
Late October/Early November
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It’s now November 10th and I feel like I’ve made progress yet it’s been somewhat slow. I chose to work with two sophomore and two junior classes. The sophomore classes are Mr. Rodriguez and Mr. Labombard’s. The junior classes are Mr. Greene and Mrs. Petrillo’s. I’ll be taking four juniors on Tuesdays to participate in my coping mechanisms group and on Thursdays, I will be taking four juniors. Based on the amount of kids who will participate, I’ll be switching up the group of kids. I’m considering choosing the first few kids as the ones who need it the most and I’ll be letting their teachers decide that.. I’ve presented in every advisory except Mrs. Petrillo’s, which I’m planning on doing next week. I’m excited to start this group because I deeply feel like I can benefit from this but also help others while I’m at it. I feel good concerning capstone, it’s one of the best things I have going on right now. I got elected as vice president a few weeks ago and it’s been great so far. I’m excited for this responsibility. It was somewhat overwhelming at first, trying to handle capstone and things concerning the student council but I changed my perspective and looked at it as something I deeply enjoy doing. I rather spend most of my time on these things than anything else. I have a lot to be proud of, but it’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s been hard to focus on the positive lately but I’m working on it. It’s weird because in some areas I need to work on my patience and other areas, I need to work on my motivation. I feel like I can grow a lot this year and I’m honestly hoping so. I’ve been writing a list of goals for each month since July and It amazes me to see the progress at the end of the month. I have to make my list of goals for this month sometime soon. I’m appreciative of the people I’m surrounded by in school, teachers, classmates, etc.
Journal entry #4
End of November
Things have taken quite a turn lately. I feel a lot better and my mindset is more positive. I presented my slideshow to Mrs. Petrillo on November 15th, and it went well. I did have to postpone it a few times due to student council responsibilities but I got it done and the kids were pretty engaged. I then moved forward to plan my first group lesson/activity. I rehearsed my first group session with my first block class and it was pretty fun to do. I officially started my group on November 30th and it didn’t go the way I thought it would. Three boys volunteered to participate and there was one girl. It went pretty well, everyone participated and they eventually focused. It was a little difficult to settle them in because they kept taking out their phones but as we got into the activity, that changed. I pulled the girl to the side at the end and told her “I wasn’t expecting so many boys”. I hope she comes back and gives it another chance, I will try my hardest to get more girls to participate. I need to get more pictures because I haven’t had much luck. I would also like to present to another class and I was thinking I should move it down to freshman. I’m thinking this because I haven’t got many participants in the classes I’ve presented in so far and I think I’d have better luck with younger kids. I have a few activities planned and I hope others enjoy it. I got my E-portfolio started and it’s looking pretty good. I need to move forward with my career field research assignment and I’m not sure what I want to do. I don’t know if I want to go into business or journalism or if there’s a way to do both. I don’t have many ideas on who I can interview. This month went by really fast and I do feel like I’ve made progress. I talked with Jhoanely Torres and she mentioned if I can do a group with her mentees and include the other mentees as well. Funny thing was, the same thought popped into my head the day before. I feel excited to work with the mentees and I think that’s partially because they're a bit younger. I met her mentees for a brief moment and introduced myself. They said they were excited and would like to try it. I’m planning to do a group session with them next Tuesday which falls on December 7th. I have a card game that I think will be pretty fun because it asks all these deep and different questions.
Journal entry #5
December Reflection:
It’s now the end of December and I’ve gotten a few group sessions done. I did a group session with Jhoanely Torres and Zaida Mercado’s mentees and we played a card game to help us get to know each other better. It went really well and the girls enjoyed the different kinds of questions. My third group session, I didn’t get as lucky but on the bright side, I did have one participant so we painted and listened to positive affirmations. I enjoyed it because it was calm and more on the peaceful side. The week after that, Persephanie Velasco brought her mentees and we all made bracelets together. Persey and Dewayne Adams participated too which I enjoyed. The bracelets were really pretty and I enjoyed seeing the girls wearing them throughout the day. I’m proud of my capstone and I enjoy working with the mentees. I’m thinking of expanding my group to everyone by putting up flyers to keep it inclusive for anyone who would like to try out different coping activities. On the personal side of things, I feel like I’m not putting my best foot forward and my motivation has started to drift away. I’m fighting a lot of personal battles and truthfully I haven’t been “walking the walk”. I let it slip my mind that it doesn’t matter how many positive things you do to make yourself feel better unless you're confronting your issues head on. This year, I thought I was healing but I was trying to run away from my trauma. I had countless times to speak up and I chose to suppress it instead and try to forget. That only landed me in a deeper hole than when I started. It’s easier to tell other people and help them through their problems but not so much when it’s you in a tough situation. I’ve made my way to rock bottom and my unprocessed trauma is starting to affect those around me. The only thing I desire is to change and heal. My faith is being tested like never before but somehow I’ve found a way to hold on to hope. Being in this state just shows me how much I had to be appreciative for. I’m tired but I have to keep going. This year I met the most broken version of me… but I also met the strongest.
Journal entry #6
January Reflection:
This month has brought a lot in perspective. Quite honestly, it feels like I’m at rock bottom, emotionally anyway. This semester, I didn’t do as great in my classes as I know I could’ve. My personal life has been overwhelming and I feel like I’m running out of time in a way. I’m in a situation where my mental health has to come first and I want to focus on my education but the obstacles in my life at this moment aren’t something that can be pushed aside or ignored any longer. In some ways, I feel like this could prove useful in the long run. As the things I’m going through are pushing me to find ways to properly cope. It’s doing so in a way that I have to face and confront what’s bothering me. Regarding my capstone, I feel stuck. I haven’t been able to conduct a group in quite some time and I don’t know how to proceed. I haven’t had much luck with finding participants in the high school classes. I’m thinking of doing more presentations to more classes and reaching out to the freshman advisors again. I would also like to do something with the seniors if possible. My main challenge right now is timewise. I feel like I don’t have enough time during advisory to do the activities that I want to do. With the short time, I feel like I’m rushing the activities and I’m not getting a chance to communicate with the students in the way that I’d like too. With everything going on in my life now, I’m starting to feel hopeless. I would like to go back in time and change things but I can’t and I would like to speed things up to when things are a bit better. I would like to find a few kids that actually want to participate in my group and be consistent with it. I feel scattered on the ideas I want to do. As of now, I’m trying to figure out a good time for my next group and what activity we should do. With the recent events at school, I feel it is important to do something uplifting with the students. I was thinking about making dreamcatchers for my next group activity. I want to be more productive and consistent with students and I’m hoping the rest of the month goes smoothly.
Journal entry #7
February Journal:
It feels like the months are flying by and I’m a bit nervous that I got a lot on my plate. The beginning of January things started to pick up. I have council meetings to keep up with. We've been planning prom, fundraisers, and a field trip. I’ve also been trying to present to more classes so I can get more students to participate in my group. I haven’t been having much luck with high schoolers so I’ve been focusing a bit more on middle schoolers, especially with the recent events that happened at school. I’ve been working more so with mentees. I had my first group in a while on Tuesday, the 15th. Persey, Yashy, Amaiya, Annelys, and I all made keychain necklaces which we wore throughout the day. I also talked to Mrs. Griffin and decided to pick up mentoring. I am extremely nervous about this because today was my first time meeting Aldina. Tomorrow, I am going to work with Nairoby and Sophia in their coping mechanisms group to bring an activity for the kids to do. The service feels good to be so active in the school community. I feel overwhelmed from time to time but overall, I’m enjoying all I’m doing. I wanted to participate more in the school life this year because I’ve always stuck to myself in the past. I considered doing sports but due to my health problems, I won’t be able to. So, I decided to take up the position of vice president, mentoring, and leading my own capstone. I’m starting to realize I’m more capable than I originally thought. I have managed to push through time and time again. I have been stalling on the highschool students and I think that’s mainly because I feel more comfortable working with younger students. Which, I didn’t realize until my first and second group session with the mentees. I’m excited to get to know my mentee and hope we have a better time to meet soon so we can get to know each other. She’s quiet which makes me curious. But for some reason, I feel like she reminds me of myself when I was younger. Even though we've only interacted once so far. I’m reminding myself to stay grounded and keep organized.